Dog Bonk

“If dogs could talk, perhaps we would find it as hard to get along with them as we do with people.”


I love dogs. I must for I have three, each with personalities as individual as you or I.  One of my herd, Maverick – the Amazing Beardie, appears to have been blessed with the most personality and is a constant source of amusement and frustration for all of us. This morning was no exception.

Occasionally, I have to move to the couch in the middle of the night because Darling snores. I don’t necessarily like it, but came to accept it years ago. It makes for a much better night this way. Maverick hasn’t quite grasped the concept of letting sleeping writers sleep. This morning about 0500 hours, I was right in the middle of a pizza dream. (I know it was a pizza dream because it was weird enough that I was like, “Duuuuuude.” And now with the light of day, I can’t freakin’ remember it. Stupid dog.)
However, he comes up and nose bumps me.

The nose bump.
Guaranteed to get your attention.
Almost guaranteed to get a dog shot.

What is it you might ask? Well… Maverick is tall enough that his head can pretty comfortably sit on my dining room table so he’s a pretty big dog and could theoretically use his size to great advantage. But instead, when you are sound asleep and the “Dog Stare” doesn’t wake up you, he comes and bumps your face with his nose. It’s all rather Snoopy and Charlie Brown. Unlike Snoopy, it’s not nearly as cute at 0500 hours.

Maverick nose bumped me at 0500. I told him in no uncertain terms to go lay down and leave me alone.

Maverick nose bumped me again at 0530. I got up and let him outside under the assumption he really had to go. I didn’t want an accident and I didn’t want to clean it up.

THE MOMENT I let him out and shut the door. He began talking to a friend of his.

It’s not like he could have waited a couple of hours I suppose, but really?

So, I opened the door and “yelled” at him to quit talking about the squirrels or birds or what have you and to come – back – inside – now!

He came. Shock.

I went and laid back down and from my perch on the couch I told him, “Dufus. Lay down.”

I just got back to sleep and just started another pizza dream.


The alarm went off one minute later.  Yes. One. Instead of hitting the snooze, I bonked him back.


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