Day 66 – The Power of the Horse

There is nothing as powerful in the world as the horse on a young girl’s dreams. I can’t say that every little girl wants a horse, but there’s something magical about them.

When I was young I saw the most magical of all the horses in the world in a show – – – the Lipizzaners. Talk about a fluidity and grace that words can’t begin to define. I remember that first show like I saw it yesterday. Tonight, my mother took me, my DH and my 2 darlings to see them perform in front of a pitifully small audience. The five of us sat in amazement as the enchantment wound it’s spell around our hearts. I love these horses. These horses have the ability to make me want to dream, if only for one night in time. With that said… I think that is what I shall do – go dream. G’Night.

Day 65 – More Randomness

There’s really nothing better in the world than BFF Time. It’s capitalized because it’s that important to my (our) sanity. Decompression and de-stressing is the name of the game and I got to have a little bit of that time this weekend. Pretty happy about that. I wish my BFF didn’t live 250 miles away, but we can’t help these things and we do what we can to stay in touch.

I’m not really feeling in touch with my dinner however. I’m sitting here eating a TV dinner and I’ve forgotten I’m not a big fan of pesto. So… I think I shall eat the cherry crisp dessert and skip the rest which has left a very weird taste in my mouth. I must remember not to buy this one again. Blech.

Speaking of gagging… I hate parental guilt trips. My mother called yesterday and left a message. I felt like poop so I didn’t call her back and then she called today and guilted me into calling her back tonight. I am hoping that I will have this mysterious power over my children as I get older and if not, I won’t lose any sleep over it. I’ll be happy they are talking to me 🙂

There are a lot of things that intrigue me, but I have a question. How does one sleep in a round bed? For me that would be a bed for one because I couldn’t share that kind of space with another individual. I think I would feel a little disoriented not knowing exactly where the “edges” are. And how would one actually make the bed? You couldn’t possibly get those crisp military corners, could you? On the plus side of the matter, it would be like sleeping on a cookie every night and that couldn’t be a bad thing.

Life Lesson #65

“You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

“To put it all in simple terms, there are two things that you must do. The first thing you must do is to learn the rules of the game that you’re playing. It doesn’t sound exciting, but it’s vital. Secondly, you must commit to play the game better than anyone else. If you can do these two things, success will be yours!”

Health & Fitness #65 Camomile tea contains a compound called apigenin that works on the same part of the brain as anti-anxiety drugs. So when you are stressed out, this old-fashioned remedy is bliss. In fact, as I’m still on the phone with mother while I’ve been writing this, I may have to indulge in some chamomile tea because I need some bliss.

Day 62 – Ramblings About Time

Yesterday was eldest’s 17th birthday. It’s hard to believe how quickly 17 years goes by because it seems like it was just a few months ago. I can’t say it “seems like yesterday” as many memories have faded into the nothing, but it definitely doesn’t feel like it’s approaching the two decade marker.

And side note, it just occurred to me that I’m just a couple of years out from my 25th high school reunion. Why is it when we are young that seems more than a lifetime away, but now that it’s approaching, it feels not that long ago? My dad had a theory that the older we get, the faster time passes. I’m beginning to believe he was absolutely correct. I think this quickening of the passage of time is not so much in terms of absolute scientific principle, but in terms of mental status. I can’t explain it really, but I do believe it exists. It’s kind of like God, only with less BAM! I can’t prove God exists, but I believe He is there all around us and He does things only He understands.

As far as diet and exercise have gone the past week, I have thought about it and that’s a far as the process has gone. I’ve been trying to sort out this thing called life and my personal health has taken a back seat to trying to tame the mental animals running amuck in my head. There are really too many things going on lately and I haven’t been sleeping well or anything else. Frustrating.

Time change is tonight. I hate this stupid, freakin’, daylight savings time crap. (Speaking of not sleeping well lately.) I don’t know why we still do it. It’s not all that important to have daylight at 10pm. I seriously would be pleased if they would fix it. I found a quote that sums up my feelings rather nicely.

A writer in 1947 noted, “I don’t really care how time is reckoned so long as there is some agreement about it, but I object to being told that I am saving daylight when my reason tells me that I am doing nothing of the kind. I even object to the implication that I am wasting something valuable if I stay in bed after the sun has risen. As an admirer of moonlight I resent the bossy insistence of those who want to reduce my time for enjoying it. At the back of the Daylight Saving scheme I detect the bony, blue-fingered hand of Puritanism, eager to push people into bed earlier, and get them up earlier, to make them healthy, wealthy and wise in spite of themselves.” (Robertson Davies, The Diary of Samuel Marchbanks, 1947, XIX, Sunday.)

Well, I think I need to get some real rest. Got to get up early (as it were) to take Maverick to the groomers for the summer shave. I know it’s not summer, but he smells like dog. Love the boy, but dog smell is blah. Time to get him less canine and more fru-fru…. LOL!

Ciao Bella…

Day 59 – Trying to Sort It All Out

Disasters can come in every shape and form under Heaven and they definitely test our faith. Things have been going a little rough lately at the casa while I don’t truly know if I can classify the situation as a disaster, I can quantify it as “suckage” and massive amounts of it. At this point, I’m not making the overtime I was freakin’ MANDATED to work at the AECC so my paychecks have been smaller than they used to be by quite a bit and this has been going on for the past 6 months. Kyle’s business has slowed down to a snail’s pace (complete with the goo left behind…) and recovery from that slowdown may or may not happen. In the meanwhile, we can’t wait to see if it will turn around so Kyle has been sending out resumes and looking at jobs elsewhere.

I’m hoping something comes through soon on Kyle’s Great Job Hunt of 2011, but I know we also need to get many more resumes out there to make that happen. There are 2 jobs he’s applied for that sound pretty awesome. One is in Dallas and one is in Lake Mary, Florida – just northeast of Orlando by a few minutes. I’ve never pictured myself living in Florida, but stranger things have happened.

Kyle is pretty particular with what he wants to do and I’m not in his head so it’s a little hard to understand sometimes. I guess I have just done so many things workwise that I don’t have a clear understanding of only working less than a handful of jobs in a lifetime and only really feeling comfortable just doing one thing or something closely related to the one thing. I remember the days of working 2 and 3 jobs at a time in order to “survive” and have the feeling I’m at that point again.

Life Lesson #59 Credit cards are EVIL and all kids should stay well clear of them and be taught how in the hell to use them. I will be the first to admit we have our own fair share of debt that we are struggling like hell to repay because we were not taught good fiscal principles by the parental units. I can manage millions of dollars in a business, but can’t seem to manage my own freaking spending. (Not that I’m entirely to blame in this fiasco.) But it is definitely much easier to handle before losing about 3K a month.

And as a side note, I think we finally have the kids diapers, formula and baby clothes paid off. Most of this ever-accumulating debt (interest) has been the result of necessary purchases. Sure, some of the things we have charged over the years weren’t “necessary,” but trust me when I say, “Come look at my house and tell me we have an overabundance of luxury items.” A couple of years when the kids were young, I couldn’t work because the girls were sick all the time. It get’s interesting when I look back at the income taxes during that time because we survived on the credit cards we had. Anyhoooooo….

Seeing as I’m kind of tired of non-paying career choices, I’m having to look at going back into media. I’m not a big fan of that. However, I have found several jobs in New York City that pay well over 100K and with that kind of money, I could find a small place there and in all honesty, we could have 95% of all of our bills paid off in 6-8 months. If I were a little more conservative thinking time-wise because I know stuff happens, I would say 10 months. But everything paid in under a year is completely doable. This would free up a lot of tension financially, but cause a few more problems along the way… the question I have to find an answer for is which of the problems is the worst? God knows I don’t want to live away from my family for a year, but I also know that those guys in the military that go away for a year or a two at a time have family units that somehow survive. Is this that kind of situation and how to look at it? Is it “war?” I’m thinking it might be and I’m going to have to fight to keep my family in a most unorthodox manner.

Ahhhhhhh it’s too late at night to be going round and round on this matter, but I really needed to vent for a few. All of this stuff in my head is just kind of a swirling mass of confusion and maybe just being able to get some of it out is good. I’m going to try to crash and burn now. Hopefully a good night’s sleep will bring some clarity. Bon nuit.

Happiness?

This is an “actual letter” from an Austin , Texas woman sent to Proctor and Gamble regarding one of their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. This was PC Magazine’s 2009 Editors’ Choice award-winner for the best letter sent via e-mail.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call ‘an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.’

Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer’s monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants… Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’

Are you f—— kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything
mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, un les s you’re some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’.

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep.

Always. . …

Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Day 55 – Quotes

I have kept a journal since I first really started to write. So this means, I have essentially been writing since I was 7 years old. I was reading through one the other day and came across this thought I had…

Have you ever noticed how lonely the rain is? It’s like the sky is crying for some forgotten memory. (1992)

Why a thought like that would occur to me, I’m not quite sure. However, that’s how my brain operates and I’m frankly a little afraid of sharing some of this kind of stuff with you – whether the fear is rational or not. However, the only way to conquer fear is to tackle the thing you are most afraid of.

I actually did that the other day. I think my body took the tackling literally however because the doctor seems to think I have a stress fracture in my left foot. I don’t quite buy it… think it’s probably just a strain or a sprain, but here I am hobbling around on crutches. And it’s quite the workout since I’m 50 pounds heavier since the last time I utilized the mobility devices. So what happened? I was scared to run. Weird, but true.

You see, I blew my hip out in the police academy in September 2008 and COULDN’T workout or do a whole lot. I finally was cleared for full duty in February 2010. That’s quite a while to be sitting around and doing nothing. Long story short, I didn’t know if I could run again… weird, but true. When you don’t do something for over 2 years, you wonder. So … with all the added weight, I ran. Felt good. Until it didn’t.

Anyway, I’m sure I actually have much more to write about this whole thing, but I’m actually on good painkillers and everything is a little blurry and I can’t focus on whatever it is I am officially rambling about. More later when I can make more sense of the universe….

Nik Kershaw – Roses

In light of the previous blog post “Everything’s Coming Up Roses” – I thought I would share where I got the title. This is actually a line from a song written by Nik Kershaw that came out in the 80’s. I think it still kind of speaks to society today. I can’t say that there’s an actual “dedication” involved, but to the group of friends at AHS that got me hooked… thanks.

Make it plastic make it pay
Use it up and throw away
Make another just the same, more or less

Burn our time down to size
Send it up into the skies
Hide the evidence with lies, what a mess

But we’ve just come from a meeting
And we’re sure you’d like to know
There’ll be deep blue skies and clear blue waters
Everywhere you go

‘cos everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say
Yes everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say

In the name of energy
We give our problems to the sea
But they’ll be back for you and me
In or haste, we forget
Leaving our mistakes behind
Out of sight is out of mind
Our disposable mankind
What a waste

But we’ve talked to the experts
And they know a thing or two
They say it’s all hunky dory
There’s nothing for you to do
‘cos everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say
Yes everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say

But it’s an awful price to pay
Believing everything they say
Here tomorrow gone today
So take me home to the red red skies and the
Brown, brown grass and the black, black seas
And the broken glass and the dead, dead trees
But everything’s coming up roses
Or that’s what they tell you

‘cos everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say
Yes everything’s coming up roses
Or so they tell you
Coming up smelling of roses
Or so they say

‘cos everything’s coming up roses

Day 53 – Everything’s Coming Up Roses

I’m not sure if I really have a favorite day of the week, but Thursday is definitely right up there. Tonight is “results night” with American Idol. I didn’t get to see the boys perform, but the girls didn’t overly impress me. I’m not sure if it was song choice or just one of those things, but we’ll have to see what happens.

The news has been interesting lately insofar as celebrity things going on. Charlie Sheen (Carlos Estevez) has been having a meltdown, but for some reason, I appreciate the ownership of his whacked-out self. For some reason though, I now have to group him in the “Tom Cruise” category after the interview I saw on ABC. One of the first things I remember seeing him in was “Ferris Beuller’s Day Off” when Charlie was a drugged out criminal. I thought to myself at that time Charlie actually looked like a druggie. Unfortunately, I think Charlie has stayed in character way too long.

I’ve also sort of kept up with some of Britain’s big nuptuals to be. I remember getting up early to see Princess Diana and Charles’ (gag) wedding. That was such an amazing wedding and I for one thought the pomp and circumstance surrounding it was awesome. I don’t think the carriage ride will take place, which is very sad, but that is something so typically “Royal” that they should have something equally as cool for their departure. I know a lot of people in the States don’t care what happens across the pond. However, I think it’s wonderful that we will get to witness another royal marriage. Every girl in the world wants to marry a Prince and have the big fairy-tale wedding, but since we all can’t-we at least get to watch.

In other news, lots of changes at the casa. We’ve been working on resume’s for the DH and getting those out to varying peoples / agencies / organizations. We need to get a lot more out and hopefull that will take place soon. I have started working on mine, but for some reason, mine is a little more difficult because I have such a diverse employment background.

Last night, I went for a walk-jog-half-assed-attempt-at-running which was rather laughable. BUT… I worked up a sweat and felt better about life when I woke up this morning. I also have a small blister on my right foot. C’est la vie. I can’t say that the weight-loss adventure has really worked thus far. I know part of it is stress. Not a cop-out, but the truth. I haven’t been this stressed in years and when I’m stressed, I live on comfort foods. I am also thinking that it’s possible at this point I have some thyroid-hormone type of thing going on. I’ve contemplated going to an endochronologist to have some blood work done, but haven’t made the decision to actually do that yet. I had the doc do some a couple of months ago when I went for my annual exam and the thyroid came back normal. But that still doesn’t explain how my symptoms correspond to hypothyroidism. We’ll see I suppose. Combine those factors with the fact I’ve been menopausal for a good decade, weight does NOT come off quickly.

Life Lesson #53 Carpe Diem!!!!

Food tally for the day:
Breakfast: Cream of Wheat
Morning Snack: Briscuit Breakfast Burrito w. salsa (obviously cream of wheat by itself isn’t enough food to sustain a person…) This was followed by 2 Tums. Ugh.
Lunch: TBA
Afternoon Treat: TBA
Dinner: TBA

Health & Fitness #53 Put your kitchen on a diet before starting your own weight loss plan. It just makes sense if you “slim down” the crap from your kitchen, you won’t be tempted to indulge in “crap.”

Feeding the Spirit #53

He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.
— Colossians 1:15 (NIV)

Thoughts on Today’s Verse…
If we had been alive when Jesus worked in the carpentry shop in Nazareth or walked along the Sea of Galilee near Capernaum, we could have said, “There goes God,” and been right. The amazing reality of Jesus is that he was God among us. Matthew calls him Immanuel, “God with us.” In Colossians 1, Paul pours out every superlative he can use to describe Jesus’ preeminence over everything and everyone. He is God with a human face. He is the ruler, the transcendent one, who reigns above all creation. He is also our Savior and our sacrifice.

Day 50 – And on a Monday too.

Well, here I am once again checking in. Things have been super nuts lately and Maverick, the amazing dog, is clingy. For the past two days he wants to be either right by my side or on my lap. Seeing as his chin can comfortably sit on my desktop, you can imagine that isn’t going to be the best idea if I intend on breathing.

I’m also sitting here eating a not so well balanced breakfast of cream of wheat and tea. Need more protein, but have no time to make some eggs. I have to leave here in 2 min and 22 seconds. Poetic, eh? So I shall continue this a little later….